Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Smile and Carry On

I braved a trip to Publix today. I was behind on everything today. I only needed a couple of things for dinner and hoped to run in and out. (So silly of me for thinking this) Bella always picks the racecar buggy to sit in. I put the kids in the cart and placed my bag next to Bella. Apparently, this is forbidden. Bella flipped her lid. She demanded I remove the bag from the seat next to her. For some reason, I was not going to tolerate her stubbornness today. I thought, "Why CAN'T I put my bag there? I'm in charge." So I let the bag there and carried on with my grocery shopping as she continued to cry, which turned into screaming. I now changed my mind about the bag, but at this point consoling was not an option. She was too far gone with her fit throwing, nothing would have made it better. So, I decided to just get what I needed and leave. The next ten minutes consisted of me running through Publix frantically, Bella screaming, and Avaree sound asleep in her carseat (thank goodness!). People stared and some tried to console her. Someone even brought her a balloon. I started thinking about my mom, grocery shopping with 7 kids and I could hear her stories of how people would rudely make comments to her as her kids threw fits in the store. Was someone going to make a snide remark to me?? I was thinking of comebacks I could say if anyone attempted to be rude to me. It was becoming too overwhelmed so I stopped, shut my eyes, and took a deep breath. Everything was still and I heard the words, "Smile and carry on." I opened my eyes and did just that. I even brought it to a laughter as I approached the checkout lane. I'm sure at this point people thought I was crazy. I sang the hymn in my head, "Carry on, Carry on, Carry on!!!"

Well, Bella cried all the way to the car and home. All because she refused to have my bag sitting next to her. Later, right before laying Avaree down in her crib, I had a moment. I looked at this beautiful baby smiling from ear to ear and I counted my blessings. Count your blessings, name them one by one. I am truly blessed. These little meltdowns don't matter in the grand scheme of things. They will be forgotten. What will be remembered is Bella saying, "Come play with me mommy" and her singing happy birthday to me everyday. What will be remembered is Avaree's little hands touching my face. I will remember Bella's face after catching her coloring her hands and feet in the kitchen with markers. I will remember sweet little Avaree trying her hardest to hold her head up and look at me as I pat her over my shoulder. Her beautiful blue eyes. Bella's messy curls. This is what I remember about today.


  1. That was so sweet and fulfilling. It makes me want to only remember the good tonight as I sleep! Love ya sis. You are one amazing mother.

  2. i think we as mothers all have these experiences. it's what bonds us in this journey of motherhood together. it's how we deal with them that is the difference. way to go ash for seeing the good in a situation like that.

    on a side note, i still don't know how mom did it.